April Update....10 months old!

2 upper teeth,
2 lower teeth
height: 28.94" / 73.5 cm
weight: 19.84 lb / 9 kg
head: 17.99" / 45.7 cm



Here are the latest photo's....Zack is 10 months old now! I'm not clear why they didn't just retake the eyes closed shot, but.....

Anti-social socialness

As you may have noticed, the posts have slowed down quite a bit lately....It is mainly due to the fact that I have been working on this post for a while and just can't seem to get it perfect...so screw it, I must end my blogstipation now before things get out of hand.

I have this strange quirk (or psychotic tendancy) which causes me to silmultaniously crave and be absolutely horrified by social interaction. This quirk of mine manifests itself in many interesting ways, such as my intense fear of answering the phone, or answering the door, or doing anything with someone other than my husband in a one on one sort of way.

So, for example, if my phone rings, frst I will have a sort of mini-panic attack. Every. Time. Even when I know who it is. Even if I really like that person. I hate talking on the phone. It scares me to death.

I have this response to other folks phones ringing as well. Seriously. I am like Pavlov's dog. A perfect stranger's phone could ring at, say, the mall...and I will, just for an instant, panic.

Phone ring = panic attack.

If you are a person who tries to call me then you know this about me....because, you have to leave me messages all the time. And, usually, I email you in response even though I know that is rude. Beleive me, I know I have a problem. If you actualy do speak to me on the phone, please know that my heart is racing and that is why I am so freakin' awkward and talk so fast. If I call you...I have been talking myself into it for at LEAST 10 minutes.


Needless to say, I think the internet is the most absolutely fabulous amazing lifesaving thing ever. If not for email I would be a recluse....

Here's an interesting twist though....I really love to go out with friends! LOVE IT! Look forward to it for weeks. I am afraid to answer my damn phone and talk to all of you.. but, I really, really want to go grab a drink and chat for hours about life, and eat yummy food, and discuss books, and ...what the hell is wrong with me?!?!

Notice above I said friendS, plural, thats because I get almost as nervous about having to be responsible for an entire 1/2 of an evening's conversation as I do about the stupid phone.
This has nothing to do with the other person. It could be anyone, someone I have known my entire life. Doesn't matter. My heart will race. Palms get sweaty. Talk really fast. Mind won't focus.


The only person who doesn't have this effect on me is my husband...which was a pretty freakin' big clue that I should marry him! You don't have to hit me over the head.


So...the obvious diagnosis here is low self-esteem and/or fear of intimacy, and that would account for most of it, I'm sure. But there is somthing else. I am horrified of the "awkward moment!" Paralized by the thought of an uncomfortable pause in conversation, or, the horror, saying somthing rediculous. Or ignorant. And how about "the overlap", when both people speak at once...Oh dear god, unbearable! The phone is essentially a breeding ground for this sort of stuff....especially the overlap. Phones are the bain of my existance.

So, by having all this phone anxiety, I constantly create more stress for myself by alienating everyone with my rediculous phone issues, and then having to face them at some point and have an awkward conversation. AHHHHH... the ironic hell!

But, if you have ever gone out with me, and thought I had fun but are now questioning....I did. I always do. And I always say to my self, "self, that was fun. Not bad. I must do it agian. Maybe I am finally normal. Wow, I am so glad to finally be rid of that monkey."

Then the next opportunity arrises, and my heart starts beating........

Here is a short video of our little Zack....My heart just swells and breaks a little every time I watch it.....

(The file is a bit big, so pause the video until it loads and then hit play. I'll make it smaller if I can)

HAPPY EASTER!!

It will once again be pouring rain on "Actual Easter", so being the fabulous parent that I am, I staged "Early Easter" purely for photographic purposes.....here's a peak...



















Mine, All Mine!!!




















~*~*~*~*~*~Happy Easter~*~*~*~*~*~*~

From Hot Pink Suburbia.....

Baby Extravaganza...

A wonderful new family is being formed as you read this. . .
Nicole and Greg arrived in Taiwan on Saturday to meet their son Landon. Once they arrived, the learned that their son had been admitted to the hospital by St. Lucy's because he was quite sick.
Their first meeting was not what they had imagined, as it took place in the hospital with their son hooked to an IV. This has been a very difficult and emotional trip so far for them, and they still have quite a bit to do. Hopefully Landon will be released from the hospital today...Please keep them in your thoughts...and if you pray, now would be a great time!

So... while they are there being brave and strong for their son, they were kind enough to take some photo's of Mr. Zack!!! Yeah!!! Aparently, there were some students from the University there playing with the babies....how cool!

In other baby news...Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin welcomed thier son Moses this morning!!! yeah!! (I am a total Gwyneth Paltrow Nut, we were both pregnant with our first kids at the same time and I formed this irrational pregnancy bond. Maybe this means that Zack will be home soon, since Luke was born not long after Apple!!!)

Different Perspective

OK, now that we all did the hard stuff and went and read those hard to read things,

go read this.

Scroll down and check the different topics she covers....there is one post on how she feels about being a Korean Adoptee, 2/26/06 I beleive.

Feel a little better? Me too.

I wasn't saying that it was all bad.

That my son was guaranteed to hate me.

I was saying we need to consider all of the posibilities....