Spoke to our coorinator this morning (hi Rachel!) and learned that our dossier has begun it's journey across the Pacific. I have never been so attached to a pile of papers.
It was reassuring to hear that everything is moving along as it should, but now we begin the "long silence" of the court process. There isn't alot of info exchanged during this phase. We won't really know what or how things are progressing until a month or two before we travel.
I bravely listened as she gave me the worst case time line, which puts us traveling in October(aaahhhhhhhhhh!!! no way will I survive that long!) and when I hung up the phone I was feeling a bit down. I am finding this part of the process a bit unsatisfying. As with many moments I have imagined and then encountered along my parenting journey, it just doesn't feel quite like I expected it to. Sometimes that can be a really good thing, like, turns out getting barfed on isn't really as bad as I expected it would be. Ditto with diapers. But, sometimes it's like this news was, or like seing Luke cry, and it's a bit harder than I had hoped.
I was expecting to be doing a "yeah, we've done everything we can, it's in someone else's hands now" dance. Hoping to feel some sense of releif. But, instead I'm doing the "we're smack in the middle of the process, and it stinks to have so far to go still " sulk.
My meditation for the rest of the day is:
Todays news is absolutely good news and with every day and every step that passes we are that much closer to meeting Zack.
P.S. yes, I did imagine what it would be like to be barfed on. I'm wierd like dat.
2 comments:
This wait has been one of the hardest things for me to do. Just keep pushing forward - the pieces will all fall into place.
hmmm... i am trying to think... when our dossier was sent off it was april and i just sort of went on, "baby? what baby?" mode for several months... then, once august rolled around and there was clear evidence of referrals speeding up, i could think/talk/obsess on nothing else... i was PAINFUL to be around and, much to my family and friends' credit, no one killed me.
luke looks like he is up to the challenge of keeping you distracted ;-)!
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